Why The New "Wipeout" May Wipeout!

Green-tings fellow Green-Lings and Green-Wings!

You know this green prophet has always loved the show... "Wipeout"! Vicariously watching others voluntarily and literally get the wind knocked out of them... without actually hurting them can be incredibly comedic and cathartic! This has been especially true during the Covid crisis. TBS gets it! Laughter may not actually be the best medicine... but it is a pretty good placebo! Hahaha! Now this green prophet likes John Cena and thinks that with his super hero good looks; he was an excellent replacement for Jeff Foxworthy with the kids on... "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

If Wipeout... was a brand new show and not a retooled and re-booted remake... this prophet believes that this new team of co-ed co-hosts could be great! But there has nnnnever been a tag-team dynamic duo to compare to the co-hosting comedic abilities of John and John... John! Hahaha! Of course the 1st is John Anderson... the 2nd is John Henson to the 3rd John Cena. Hahaha!

In addition... this prophet feels sorry for the new field hostess whose job it is the replace the possibly irreplaceable... original Jill Wagner and Vanessa Lachey.

Although Vanessa came to the show later... the casting director is to be commended... by complimenting Jill Wagner's comedy contribution completely! In addition to allowing time for both hotties to be mommies!

Fellow Green-lings and Green-Wings; this green prophet is actually very good at predictions such as this. When Conan O'Brien insisted it was time for him to take over the tonight show... this green prophet knew right away he was going to Bomb... and probably not last a single season! Why? Simple; his socially sophomoric audience... was not home yet! They were still out getting stoned! Only Jay Leno's more mature regulars... were in the right place at the right time. Ready for the Master's monologue!

Then they get Conan... this absolutely obnoxious character completely lacking in the same. They sat down hoping to unwind with the incomparable Leno... and shortly after, had to settle for Letterman. By the way; this green prophet also predicted that if they wanted to save The Tonight Show... there could only be one choice as a replacement for Conan. Johnny Carson made the right choice! Besides... no one evvvver had more fun making a ship-load of money than Jay Leno! That is why Leno was Johnny's... proto-Jay.

Then some time later... there was the favorite show created; by once and again comedic genius, Tim Allen; Last Man Standing. When ABC said they were cancelling the show due to ratings... this prophet could not see how ABC thought they were going to be able to get anyone to believe that! However; to this green prophet this decision was definitely not... going to Stand for long. Hahaha!

This was without a doubt an out and out lie! This show was at that time and still is... one of the most syndicated comedies on TV! So believe it or not... this green prophet actually told people this. "ABC is lying! The cancellation of Last Man Standing... is purely political! It won't stand either. You can trust me on this; even though it has rarely happened before... Some smarter network probably FOX"... Yes; this green prophet really said that... "is going to pick the show up soon; while it is still very viable!"

Also; this green prophet loves how Mike and Vanessa vindicated... The Last Man Standing... the first night on FOX. It was comedic justice and comedic genius... and as a part of their K-A audience... this prophet... loved it!

The problem with Wipeout is similar to the problem with The Tonight Show. It is one of association. Actually; it is four of association. Sorry John Cena... Nicole Byer and Camille Kostek; once again if this were a brand new show and no one had any expectations... then yes, the three of you could maybe, do a great job! But it is not! The flawless combined comedic co-hosting tag-team of John... John... Jill... and Vanessa... cannot be defeated! They cannot be... Wiped-out! ; -)

But new team it will not be your fault. You are up against the Abbott and Costello... Martin and Lewis... and Allen and Leno of co-hosting comedians! Mr. Cena; then again... just like when you faced off with Mr. Johnson; depending upon your audience... it could go either way.

Update: Green-tings fellow Green-Lings and Green-Wings! You know how this green prophet sometimes says that sometimes it just sucks to be right? Hahaha! Well, this is not one of those times! Although this prophet wrote this prediction in the middle of February 2021; when he heard about the "new changes"; He did not get the story onto the Internet before the pre-premiere which he saw at midnight on March 31st 2021. Wow! It was even worse than this prophet thought it could be! Even though both the old and new Wipeouts were both an hour long... the new Wipeout seemed so much longer!

Sorry Mr. Cena; just like with The Tonight Show... and Leno... the only way this prophet believes there will be the save the new Wipeout when it Wipes-out... is with the original cast and co-hosts of John and John... John!

Oh; hopefully the festive coloration of the new Wipeout course... is for Easter and not for ever. ; -)

2022 Update: Green-tings fellow Green-Lings and Green-Wings! Well... you all might think this is one this prophet got wrong. Mmmaybe!

But... he doesn't think so. No... he thinks there are 3 reasons TBS kept the half-baked re-make. First and foremost, TBS spent way too much money on the re-make to abandon ship. Second, TBS thought they were expanding their home audience by making the course colors, the contestants and the co-host more PC. But, since the more PC version ain't really rated G... it is this prophets guess they simply traded the original Wipe-Out's wide range of watchers... for the new Wipe-Outs PC peeps who either just want something on in the background, while they do their nails or snack on the sofa, or as a college drinking game. Lastly, to TBS, it is still something on the air between station breaks.

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The more you read... the more you may believe. ; -)